I Shall Free You
by Earthnfarie
Summary: A twisted little Songfic of Kagome several years after well closed. Rated M for suggested situations. No lemon.


_ I do not own Inuyasha or the song within here. I get no profit from the writing of this. _

_Wrote this in a flurry one night. I had two endings for it, and this is the second. Perhaps i might post it later with the other ending. Either way Enjoy._

Kagome sat at the bar staring into her most recent drink. She let everything come to the surface, everything that she worked so hard to keep hidden away in her everyday life. She knew she was a fool, but how could she not be? He was all she had left. He was the only one that knew- the only one that remembered. He remembered who she was, and what they did. He was the only one left.

She had found him by mistake. She was called out to a remote part of the country to a cave- a cave not far from Midoriko's. She was to look at a remarkably preserved artifact. She was the leading expert in Japanese history, and so she went. What she found she never expected.

_'If I'm thinking about him again, then maybe I need to stop drinking. I can't think of him like that.'_ She thought to herself as she took another swallow. She let her memories go back to the first time she had seen any of them in over three years.

_**I could use another cigarette.  
But don't worry daddy, I'm not addicted yet.  
One too many drinks tonight and I miss you,  
Like you were mine **_

It was _him_. After all these years there he was. She stared astounded for a long time. The artifacts were his swords. She gazed at that stoic face, and it all came rushing back to her. Five years of struggles, and love- five long years.

She stepped forward unbelieving. How was it even possible? She didn't know.

Words cut through her haze of memories that threatened to undo her. "You see Mrs. Higurashi, it is most remarkable. We don't dare remove the swords for fear of harming the statue, but we wish to know the value." The voice paused. "He is rather stunning isn't he? I wonder who he was, and why his statue was hidden away here."

Kagome couldn't tear her eyes away, but found her voice. "Sesshomaru, Lord of the west."

"The youkai that was the son to the great dog demon? He was said to have been a force all his own from the legends." The man looked up at the statue in awe. "I wonder what he would have been like if he were real."

Kagome didn't answer. _'You wouldn't believe me if I told you.'_ She thought ruefully. She dismissed the men choosing to 'work' in peace. She stared at him a long time before she finally searched around for something to tell her what had happened. She knew that this wasn't some statue. _It was him_. She could feel the seal on him pulsing in response to her miko powers. She found nothing, and hesitantly walked away from him. It was late already. She told the men she would return the next day, and then went to her hotel.

She worked for a week trying to figure it out. She didn't dare release him. What would happen? But she couldn't wait anymore. She had to decide now or never. He was to be moved to a museum in the morning. So she went to him, and stared. She had to release him or leave him sealed. Finally she chose. She knew she would do this from the first moment she had seen him. She reached out a shaky hand, and caressed his cheek. She felt the dust, and the hardened grime that covered him. It was easy to see him as stone- not real- but she knew better. She was the Shikon Miko, and he- he was her only connection. "Sesshomaru-sama." She barely spoke his name, but it carried so much power. She called to him. She touched him again, and the dust and grime crumble. This time her fingers touched on skin. She looked at his perfection. There was no going back now. "Sesshomaru-sama." Again it was barely a whisper, but her power pulsed. His eyes fluttered open, and his golden orbs locked on hers.

She barely gasped as he fell forward onto her. Her eyes never left his. His hair curtained around them, and they stared at each other. "Miko," his dry voice cut through the silence.

Kagome stared. He was alive. He was real. She wanted to cry. She wanted to laugh, but she could only stare. He lifted himself off of her, and Kagome saw that as she expected his clothes had survived. Sealing a youkai like him took a lot of power, and she knew it would seep through to his clothes. Kagome looked up at his stoic face as she rose, and saw the question in his eyes. She said nothing, but walked away. She felt his aura wash over her as he followed. When they were far enough away she sat in the grass. It was something she rarely experience these days. He sat next to her. She hazarded a glance at him. "You were sealed; I freed you." She spoke.

"How?"

"I am a miko."

He glanced at the strange woman. "You miss understand. When I was sealed, it was over a hundred years after the last battle with Naraku."

Kagome knew what he was confused about. "I made a wish." She said remembering. God it hurt so much. "The jewel returned me to my time once I had completed righting the wrongs made long ago."

Sesshomaru didn't look at her. "How long?"

"This is roughly 500 years after that battle."

Sesshomaru didn't answer. He stood, and was gone.

Kagome looked out the window at the street. It was pouring rain, and it seemed to fit. She was in a bleak dark mood tonight. She had felt so broken and wrong inside since she had come back. After she finally came to terms with the fact that the well wouldn't let her back through this feeling had sunk in so deeply it was part of her now. She had always felt more at home there than here, and she could never go back. She was banned from the only existence she had ever felt comfortable in.

She pushed away from the bar knowing it was time to go. She stepped out into the rain unprotected, and let the cold soak into her. She wanted to feel anything but the turmoil in her heart. Her soul was at war with itself, and it was wrenching. Why did fate have to choose her?

She climbed the shrine steps and stopped. This place was almost too much sometimes. There were so many memories, and they threatened constantly to overwhelm her- to break her. Wasn't she already broken enough as it was? She couldn't look at this place without seeing his face. She could almost hear his voice in her ears. She wanted to run away from it all. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to forget.

She went to the god tree despite herself, and stared at it willing the boy- her _love_- to be there again. He only existed in her mind now, and it was so painful. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did she have to love him? Why couldn't have been him in that cave? Why did that bastard have to tell her?

_**Your stormy words have barely broken  
And you sound like thunder though you've barely spoken  
Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God,  
Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right. **_

She was under this tree when he told her. She had been sweeping like her mother used to. She had finished before the storm that was threatening lived up to its promise. She sat in the silence of her own world, and didn't look from the well house when he had landed. Sesshomaru always came and went as he wanted. Why shouldn't he? She had no sway over him.

He only had to look at her to know she was thinking of his half brother and her friends. She had that distant look.

She spoke startling him. "How?"

It was exactly what he had asked her, but what she wanted to know was so much different. He wouldn't lie to her either. "He killed himself. He didn't want an existence without you. So he waited until his human night, and put father's fang through his heart." He could smell her regret and guilt; it was stronger than the smell of her tears. He refrained from telling her the whole truth. He knew the miko couldn't bear to know he had killed himself clutching the rosary and whispering her name- _twice.­_ He didn't wait for an answer. He was gone again.

_**He's taken and leaving but I keep believing  
He's gonna come round soon  
Till I see him again I'm staying believing  
That it won't be deceiving when he's gonna come round soon.**_

Kagome never knew when he would show up again. He was like a feather: beautiful, untouchable, always drifting along. He would randomly blow into her life and stay, sometimes for weeks, and then would disappear again. It was just who he was, and she couldn't fault him for that. She held nothing over him. He didn't owe her anything. It was her existence now, and she was grateful he even chose to come by the shrine at all.

It was always the same when he did though. They barely spoke, but used each other to grasp at something neither of them could ever touch again. She didn't have to ask to know who he was remembering when he fucked her. She had easily seen that, though he tried to hide it, the wind witch meant something to him. He had nearly gone into a blood rage when Naraku dissolved her heart in front of all of them during the last battle.

Kagome was no fool. She knew they were just using each other to try and remember while trying to forget.  
She knew he would return.  
_**  
**___

_**You may be my final match.  
'Cause I chase everything when you play throw and I play catch  
It never took much to keep me satisfied  
But all this bullshit you feed me you miss me you need me  
This hungry heart will not subside**__**  
**_

Kagome fell to her knees looking at the god tree drenched in rain. Memories swarmed over her. She remembered being caught in a light summer drizzle with Inuyasha. They sat together below the tree, and waited for it to pass. Oh, how she missed him! Her tears fell to be immediately washed away. She had drunk too much. She hated how she always thought it would help, and it never did. She hated this life and who she was.

She rose slowly, and turned to look at Sesshomaru as he landed next to her. He gazed down on her with those still so cold eyes. She wished they were a little darker, amber, and warm. She wanted to see caring in those eyes- any feeling at all. "Sesshomaru-sama," she whispered to the rain. She tasted the rain that fell to her lips. It tasted of salt, but was still so sweet. She hated how life could be so gray.

Sesshomaru looked down on the miko that was his only connection to the past. She was the only one that remembered how great he truly was. He could tell she was drunk, and from the look in her eyes he knew she was thinking of his brother. He knew she needed more than just his usual demeanor. He warred between wanting to give it to her, and wanting to deny her. They were both hurting in this world, and he knew the miko was more fragile than he.

He looked away from her eyes, and to the god tree. Even at this distance he could see the second scar. Inuyasha had pinned himself to the tree as he was losing his demon blood to the new moon. He had died clutching the rosary around his neck. Sesshomaru had found him, and revived him with his sword. As Sesshomaru looked at the tree he remembered that night. He remembered the fight. He remembered his brother's heartfelt pleading. Sesshomaru had giving him what he wanted. He had killed his own brother because of the woman standing next to him now.

He closed his eyes. "Kagome," It was the first time he had spoke her name. He pulled her into a hug, and buried his nose in her hair by her neck. The rain had soaked them both. "Kagome I missed you." He whispered into her hair. He carried her inside, and with careful hands disrobed and dried her off. He did the same to himself as she watched from her bed. Then he went and laid next to her, holding her close. "Kagome," he whispered again. He could hear the want and need in his voice. It sickened him, but he hoped the miko heard it too.

Kagome turned to Sesshomaru, and held him. She reveled in the feeling of just being held without the demand of sex. She inhaled deeply, and she almost fell into thinking this was Inuyasha. They smelled so much the same, but she didn't. This was Sesshomaru, and he was showing her something he had never before. She wouldn't take it for granted, nor pollute it with fantasies of Inuyasha.

She kissed him lightly. "Sesshomaru," his name was a sigh from her lips. She wanted so desperately to believe this was how he truly felt, but something nagged at her that it wasn't, and even if it was he wasn't the one she wanted. She hated herself for it, but for now she would make this enough even if it wasn't still in the morning. She wanted what she couldn't have, and she would be cursed for it- cursed for falling for a hanyou 500 years in the past.

_**CHORUS  
He's taken and leaving but I keep believing  
He's gonna come round soon  
Till I see him again I'm staying believing  
That it won't be deceiving when he's gonna come round soon.**_

He was gone the next morning, but she didn't expect him to stay. One could only keep up the lies and façades so long. She understood; she wasn't the naive girl she once was anymore. She knew eventually he would return, and it would be business as usual. The real question was: did she still want it? Was he still worth it? Was her past? She wasn't so sure anymore.

_**Well I may seem naive if I cry as you leave like I'm just one more tortured heart  
But baby don't be fooled.  
Cause these cracks that I show as I'm watching you go aren't tearing me apart  
And I know I'll see you soon**_

She turned away from him, once more angry with herself for letting it happen again. She had sworn she wouldn't do this again, but here they were. He had shown up once more, and she had let him do as he wished with her body. She was sick of herself. She was sick of living like this. She wanted to be free to be with her love, but something always stopped her from taking her own life. She was forced to live, and she hated it.

She watched him as he rose, and dressed. She felt her tears begin, and silently cursed. She knew the tears were not because she was lonely' he was using her, or anything as simple as that. Her heart was mutilated beyond recognition, but it wasn't the reason for her tears. She was crying because she hated everything so much. She used to be pure, and now she was so corrupt she thought herself worse than Kikyou. She hated that he would be back, and she would play his game over and over again. She didn't know where it would end.

She hated that she was crying.

_**The angels said I'd smile today. Aw well who needs angels anyway?**_

Kagome looked at Sesshomaru ruefully as he landed on the shrine grounds. She smiled despite herself. Lately she had been feeling better, but then she hadn't seen him in quite a while. Still, she would respect him for was she knew he was. She bowed to him, and he gave her a disapproving look as he walked past. Kagome wordlessly followed him into her house. She was amazed to see him sitting at her table tracing the gouges Inuyasha had put there by accident. She sat and waited for him to speak.

He said nothing until nightfall. At some point Kagome had left him to finish her chores, and even eat. Eventually when there was nothing else to do she sat with him again. As he stood she was startled, but rose and followed him. He went to the god tree, and stared at is as she stared at him.

"You may think me a heartless monster, but I assure you I am not. I came to understand, and even love my bother in time. In his last moments of life I gave him a gift that he dreamed of." Sesshomaru thought back to the smile that graced Inuyasha's lips as he had told him as a pack member he would give him the freedom and release he sought. Sesshomaru had finally accepted his brother, and then killed him.

Sesshomaru turned to meet Kagome's wide eyes. This was the most he had ever spoken to her, but she had heard much more. He knew that she listened with her heart and soul. She had comforted him silently when Kagura died. She had known when not even his brother had understood. She was his angel, his saving grace. Now he had come to save her.

With youkai speed he grabbed her by the neck and pinned her to the tree. She didn't fight him, just looked at him with those wide eyes. He felt her aura brush his, but they mingled, they didn't fight. She was looking at him with understanding. "You diluted my brother into thinking you were destined for each other. He couldn't live without you. He died whispering your name and clutching that thing you put around his neck. He died hoping that one day your souls would be reunited and happy." He said the words, and saw her studying him.

Kagome had never seen so much emotion in those eyes. She heard his words, but she was really listening to his soul. "Sesshomaru-sama, you plan to kill me yet you don't want to. You have come to need a filthy ninjen onna." She said seerenly.

He grip softened, but then he squeezed her neck tighter. It still wasn't enough to kill her just make her uncomfortable. Why was this human woman able to see into him so clearly when he was still unsure? He was never unsure, but this woman made him so. "I shall free you." He injected his poison into the pin pricks he had made in her skin. He was killing her as he had killed his brother under the same branches. The roots of this tree would be soaked with the blood of two lover never really meant to be, and he would be alone once more.

She smiled at him in a distant way as the poison ravaged her body. "Who needs an angel when you have Sesshomaru Lord of the West?"  
_**  
**___

_**CHORUS  
He's taken and leaving but I keep believing  
He's gonna come round soon  
Till I see him again I'm staying believing  
That it won't be deceiving when he's gonna come round soon.**__**  
**_

Sesshomaru sat beside Kagome under the god tree as her heart and breath slowed. He resisted the temptation to hold her- he was Sesshomaru after all. He knew that she would feel his aura, and know he was still here. He waited with her until her heart finally stopped. He waited longer not wishing to end his time with her, but finally rose. He looked down on her still form. "Goodbye Kagome." He turned to walk away.

He made no more than a step before he felt the pulse of power. He turned back, but she was still dead. Then it pulsed again, and she gasped. He felt her immense aura wash over him. He watched, astonished, as she took a breath and opened her eyes to lock on his.

"It will take more than that to kill me Sesshomaru, please remember that I am the Shikon Miko."

"The jewel is gone."

She got up, and brushed herself off. "No it is merely back where it came from."

"And that is?"

Kagome smiled, the first real smile Sesshomaru had seen from her since she woke him. It warmed him to see the miko like that. "Inside of me. So… you will have to try harder next time to kill me if you really want me dead."

"I was-"

"I know." She cut him off. "I know, and you did it." Then she said in a whisper, "You freed me. Thank you." Her moment of somberness cleared, and she was her bright cheery self. "Come on, let's have some tea; I'm parched."


End file.
